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Some Recent Ponderings/Epiphanies

It's been a while and I thought about posting this on Facebook. But then I remembered that Facebook is the actual worst. There have been many years (I hate to use the word "decades" because I refuse to think I've aged so much...) that I have had an image of who I am internally. Some words that come to mind are: - fake - lazy - scared - quitter - unloveable - actress/entertainer - liar - tries too hard to be funny But when others have described me, it was really jarring to realize that the words they used were often ones that were the direct opposite of how I tend to view myself: - real - hard-working - fearless - tenacious - loving/loveable - actress/entertainer (hmmm) - honest - funny Why is there such a dissonance between how I see me and how others see me? Who is actually right? Me, obviously. "You're such a hard worker!" - many people "Because I crave your approval and acceptance and don't want you to ever know th