A Little Arizona Sunshine

Something I have started noticing in my adult life is the fact that nothing is for certain. As a child, you knew there would be food on your table. You knew there would be clothing to wear. You knew there would be a warm bed to sleep on. As a child, you knew Jesus was your best friend. Somewhere along the way, each of these certainties began to take on a new appearance. Now I look at the food in my fridge and think, "I need to go shopping again. I'm over budget on my food..." I look at the clothing in my closet and think, "How much money have I spent on clothing throughout the years? How many people don't have any?" Or I look at my bed and smile. Because that's close to my favorite part of my day. Sleeping. But what if you lost your job? Lost your ability to walk? Lost your eyesight? These kinds of fears never entered the thoughts of the child... And with those types of fears comes the truth of how adults can have fear in their relationship with

I wish I had money. I love buying gifts for people. But I'm broke. The End. :)

It's 9 AM and I'm sitting on a couch at a friend's house. There are the comforting sounds and smells of someone cooking in the kitchen and a stillness in the rest of the house. I got up earlier than my comrades to do some homework so I could spend more time with them while we're all awake later in the day, but I got distracted by the nostalgic feeling of a holiday. You know that feeling you get on the morning of a holiday as a kid-- that something special is going to happen today, something magical. The older I get, the less I feel that. Thanksgiving, Christmas, your birthday, or the midnight feeling on New Year's eve all had that sparkling quality. But now as an adult I just feel the stress of planning, the cost plane tickets, the job I return to after the vacation, and I lose the moment. This morning, I'm feeling that little spark of magic in a holiday. It might be *NSync playing now... but who knows. Hope your day is filled with the blessing of family, joy,

HOPE = Helping Other People Everywhere 4 days a year the school shuts down and does community service in the Spokane area (HOPE Taskforce day). We do everything from shelters and Ronald McDonald House to raking leaves for some neighbors. Today, there was severe winds. Gusts of 60 mph. My whole day that I've spent hours and hours and hours setting up for and planning was turned into a day of frantically fielding phone calls and trying to get our kids back safely. Because of COURSE the wind didn't get terrible until they were in town already. But here are the things I've learned as a result: 1. No matter how much work you put into something, you cannot control the weather and you have to learn to just smile and roll with the punches. 2. Even when you're stressed beyond measure and don't know how you're going to get through the day, God takes care of you. A group of sophomores decided to clean my house and cook me dinner while I was trying to do damage cont

...in a LOT of activity this weekend and early next week! Lol. Gotcha! Have a happy weekend!

Death.  No hope of life.  The outside of the tomb washed white. Youth. Crude and crass. Talking, living, thinking without class.  I just spent a few hours in my office this afternoon working on setting up our community service day for 235+ students. That has nothing to do with this post, I just wanted to brag that I'm a boss at logistics and am loving that part of my job. Several seniors regularly hang out in my office during that time and I'm typically fine with it and enjoy talking to them.  Until recently. The more comfortable they get, the less of a filter they have. While I think this is a good thing (I'd rather know them for who they are and not who they portray themselves as around adults) it has taken a toll on my attitude.  Maybe because I didn't get enough sleep last night, but today I was done.  I'm so tired of a generation that lives for today's pleasures and tomorrow's promise of freedom from the restraints

One week's worth of homework for one class typically takes me 8 hours. Within the last two weeks, I've had to do 8 weeks worth of homework for one class and 6 weeks worth of homework for another class and take two midterms (about 100 hours of work). While working. And attending two meetings a day for Week of Prayer. And doing some volunteer work for GYC. I guess I could compare it to... trying to stuff an elephant into a Polly Pocket. Or trying to tell a giraffe to duck... under a handrail. Or having a gorilla read the Declaration of Independence and write an essay about the mistreatment of the colonies by the King. Wait, that was me two nights ago. I'm less than 9 hours away from my deadline and I'm happy to announce: I got a B on my Religion Midterm, a 96% on my History midterm, and I only have 4 more assignments to complete to be caught up. In order to accomplish this feat, I went on a complete media fast. Instagram and Facebook accounts were deacti

Mostly because I'm getting used to the concept of being single living here in Spangle Washington. Total number of residents (including the school staff and student population): Approximately 480. Total number of residents that are male: Roughly 210 Total number of those males that are single and over the age of 21: Maybe 25? And number of males that are single, over the age of 21, younger than 40, and Seventh-day Adventist???? ... 3. And I'm not interested in any of those three guys. But that's not the reason I'm writing this post. I'm writing this post because I totally took apart my vacuum this week because it wasn't working. AND FIXED IT. Like a boss. I'd like to thank my grandpa (who is the best mechanic I know) for bestowing his grease-stained genes to me. I'd like to thank my parents for always telling me I could do anything I set my mind to. I'd like to thank my Auntie Audra who showed me first hand what it was like to be a

I got an unexpected package yesterday.  My good friend Eloyda saw my last blog post on losing Donny. She was moved and shared it with her family, then her Adventurer club at church. It's so encouraging to know that something I wrote was able to touch the hearts of these little ones. They each wrote me a card sharing that they were praying for Jesus to make me happy again. And for me to get another dog. They didn't know that they were the answer to their own prayer. Their cards DID make me happy!  1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." Thank you little ones! What an example. :) 

I'm just trying to make sense of all the thoughts and feelings going through my heart right now. Monday late afternoon, Donny ran into the street in town and was hit by a car. I wasn't prepared for something like this. I know he was just a dog, an animal, but he was the one thing I've taken care of and poured my love into. The furry guy that greeted me with so much love every single time I came home (no matter if only 5 minutes had passed since I'd left...). My thoughts might be scrambled, but here they are: I know I can't blame myself, but that's all I've been doing since he was hit. Why did I sleep in? Why couldn't I have gotten his food from Joe the night before and fed him in the morning like normal? Why did I feel like I needed to go to town right then? Why did I place my needs over the one I was taking care of? Why why why. Or What if? Or If only. These are things I'm starting to realize other people ask when they lose something. A jo

Last night I led out in a vespers program and this morning I led in the main portion of Sabbath School.  One thing I've been learning here is humility. It's so easy to think you're great at everything when you work with young people that appreciate what you appreciate.  But what if they don't care? What if no matter how great the talk or how interesting the activity -- ultimately they don't care?  It breaks my heart that they don't care about spiritual things. It hurts to think about how they view God. But something else creeps in -- pride. I tend to think, "I am boring. I look incompetent to the teachers around me. I used to be good at this type of thing." When in reality--the word "I" shouldn't even be in my thought process. I've been learning about the role and the power of the Holy Spirit and it has been such a relief and burden lifter in my life. It is HIS responsibility to convict and convert hearts--not mine. What a blessing. 

There is a new love in my life:  Donny. This is short for Donatello. He's a Jack-a-poo (Jack Russell/Poodle Mix) and he's a really smart dog. His intelligence could be a good thing... and it sometimes is a bad thing. But he's a great kid. :)  I started looking for a furry friend in September of last year for a couple of reasons.  1. I read Your Pet and Your Health by Dr. David DeRose and Steve Wohlberg and was convicted.  2. I'm sorry but I never read all the way through that book... but I figured a lot of canvassers read my posts... so it'd be fun to reference a book we've all sold at some point.  3. Moving to a new place where you know exactly 2 people is a little daunting. It's easier to take in with a sidekick.  4. After spending 4 months at Weimar and being able to exercise easily because 30 others are doing it too, I wanted a little additional motivation to continue the lifestyle.  5. While owning an animal isn't the exact s

The past 3 weeks I've been here at UCA, one thing stands out. I only cook for 1 person. Do you know what this means? 1. Lots of leftovers 2. You eat the same type of food all week so you don't have items going bad in your fridge 3. Lots of leftovers 4. You get tired of that same type of food, but realize that 40 minutes of prep time isn't worth it to make something else. 5. You start wanting to cook for other people My best friend (for those who don't know who that is, it's Heidi) was always the one in our friendship to invite people over, make food for them, and to take joy in service. I personally never felt that joy. I just felt prune-like hands at the end of it from doing the dishes. (Okay, in all honesty, we had a dishwasher and when we didn't, I usually just entertained her while she cleaned... I know I'm a horrible best friend. I have, for the record, done dishes at her house a few times when I wasn't the partaker in the food. Please

Are you familiar with Cognitive Distortions? If not, you should be. Understanding them may greatly impact your life for the better. One of my strongest distortions is All or Nothing thinking. I'm coming to realize that this invades every area of my life. - Job Tasks - Hobbies - Spiritual Convictions - Reading Books (I have read through an entire series of books in 2-3 days. Pages and pages of information. Done. Because I had to finish the series. It's a problem.) - Relationships - Food - Facebook While I'd love to discuss and throw around ideas about all of these areas, the one I'm most hit with right now is actually..... Facebook! I deleted my profile (Completely deleted it, like, gone gone. No re-active life for me) in July of 2012 and was FB free for 2+ years. Why? There were many reasons. But in August (I think?) of this year I decided to open it up again because I was moving to Spokane in January and wanted to keep in touch with several friends that

In December, I completed the HEALTH program with 30 or so of my new friends. Here's how it impacted my life: - I lost 22.6 decagrams... that just sounded more impressive than .5 lbs lol - I gained more or less 5,000 pounds... of new friendship. My expectations of the program when I signed up were very different from what I encountered. In some ways, that was negative. But in many more ways, it was such a blessing. What did I expect? - To be thinking about myself and my own health the entire time - That I would be alone for the most part other than my outreach partner (Shout out to JUBY!! I miss you cuz!!) - The programs would be dull, but necessary to learn how to facilitate. - I would change drastically in a physical sense - I wouldn't change that much in the way I viewed my world - That I'd make simple friendships that wouldn't be that deep because, hey! we're only here for 4 months, so why get attached? (Right. Like that ever happens in a Summer progr

I'm currently studying the Old Testament and came across something incredibly applicable to me. This is just one of the numerous, amazing ways in which God speaks to me directly. After Joshua leads the children of Israel into Canaan to conquer and settle, you see an interesting transition period in the book of Judges. The people of God have, up to this point, been either in slavery or in a migratory status. During this journey they have had several issues they've struggled with. The food, the leadership (although they literally had the best leaders ever in Moses and Joshua), discomfort in moving around all the time, having to be dependent on God for every little thing (the soles of their shoes never wore out), and other such inconveniences. THEN you have them entering into Canaan. The amazing leadership is gone. They have to learn to grow crops and sustain themselves in this new environment. They are now living among non-believers and figuring out how to stay faithful to

I finished a Journal recently (Journal of Doom, not the one I write only pretty handwriting in) and wrote this poem to reflect on that feeling of finishing a notebook that you've written on every page. Enjoy! The weight of a journal filled with ink will for years communicate what I tend to think Does it glorify God? Does it show I'm in love? Did I focus on the positive events in my life enough? Am I living in the past or the future ahead? Am I fully in Christ? Or into myself instead? The weight of this book when the ink is on the page will show if I've been free or trapped in a cage.

The long awaited post. First and foremost, I apologize to each of you who count on me to update my posts in an orderly way. I have failed you. I basically let my blog burn in that Weimar fire a few months ago. I am ashamed. BUT IT IS RESURRECTED! so please don't hate me too much. Today will be a reflective post... not so much funny. I just got to Spokane Washington for my new stage in life at Upper Columbia Academy. But before I flew up here, I had the privilege to be apart of several things. HEALTH Graduation, A Christmas Benefit Concert, Pet Ownership, GYC Pre-Conference Outreach, and GYC. I want to do a separate post for everything, but what I want to write about right now is GYC Outreach. I (cringe) didn't go on Outreach this GYC because my bestie and her husband were taking me out somewhere special. But I went to the training and gained a blessing. Was Ricky hilarious? Obviously. Was AJ just as funny? Um, when is he not? It was actually during the appeal for at